The arrival of “Samantha” in the market confirms that the boy-child is officially under siege from left right & centre. Samantha is a woman-like sex toy that has set tongues wagging on overdrive. While the ladies are up in arms and seem so incensed by this new invention (if the missiles they have been throwing are anything to go by) the boy-child in these streets has generally been in a celebratory mood. Where did the rain start beating the boy-child?

Specifically manufactured with the beleaguered boy-child in mind, Samantha promises to smother him with unconditional sexual gratification whenever and wherever he needs it. No strings attached. The engineer who invented Samantha says that she is fully automated to talk, respond to touch and even make jokes. What a joke!

One more thing. The toy is already on sale in the UK and one goes for £3,500 only. That is roughly half a million Kenyan shillings! So, after all, this seems like a rich boy’s toy, isn’t it? But wait until the Chinese flood the market with counterfeits of Samantha.

That is when, while passing along River Road, you are likely to encounter Kimani shouting “Samantha soo mbiri mbiri bei ya jioni!”. And Le Presidente C. Nyakundi’s rebellious gang will be scrambling to acquire their own Samantha while the stocks last. Methinks, this inventor is definitely the devil incarnate.

God come down now and save the boy-child.

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