Whether the Jubilee government manages to fix Ali Hassan Joho or not, on this certificates saga that has now morphed into a national concern, the president will be left with a lot of egg on his face for one simple reason: he publicly swore to “nyorosha” the 001 governor for political reasons. So, it has not been lost on Kenyans that the frenzied alacrity with which over five government agencies have descended upon the Mombasa governor is obviously fuelled by the president’s desperate need to “Nyorosha” Joho. This makes him come across as the pettiest president in this side of the Sahara today.
As a matter of fact, there is no current Kenyan governor who is as crazily popular among his people as Ali Hassan Joho. What this means is that, when the president declares that he will “nyorosha” Joho, in essence, what he is saying is that he will “nyorosha” the Mombasa people, and by extension, the coastal people. Trust me when things get this thick, it is no longer about whether Joho’s papers are genuine or not. Things have just snowballed into one huge political vendetta and the one, who will end up being “nyoroshwad” down at the coast come August 8th, is one Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta. He will definitely be going back there to ask for votes, in his re-election bid. While Joho’s votes are already assured, the funny appetite to “nyorosha Joho” has rubbished any inroads made by Jubilee at the coast, in one fell swoop.
I am beginning to love the president’s political advisors. These guys are a bunch of geniuses, and just like anyone else, they might be secretly getting tired of the Jubilee misrule in this country. Maybe they silently detest the fact that the dreaded Moi era tendencies of using state power to arm-twist opponents, are slowly creeping back through the Jubilee regime. So what do they do? As clever guys, they go ahead and cunningly mislead the president. They tell him that:
“You must come out as a tough and no-nonsense president! To begin with ‘nyorosha Joho kabisa!’ Just make use of all state agencies led by your tribesmen to probe the authenticity of his credentials. As a strong and decisive president, don’t waste time sparring with village governors like Nanok, call him ‘shetani, ghasia ashindwe’ and move on! They must have also told him that, “When you go to places like Kisii, remember these idiots never voted for you. Don’t hesitate to remind them that, ‘hamkutupigia kura but due to my benevolent nature, I have made two of your kinsmen big people in government. One is a full CS and the other a whole chief justice!”
Don’t you love the ingenious presidential advisors lately too? And that is the short story of how Uhuru Kenyatta ended up as a one term president in August 2017.